I swear to God, if I read one more article that lists my supposed Bucket List, especially now that I’m over 50 – er – 45, I’m gonna need therapy. Because apparently, I’m just not measuring up to my ballsy boomer peers.
So here are the top 5 items that are definitely off my bucket list and why I won’t be buckling to peer pressure to add them anytime soon:
Number 1: Feeding Sharks
It’s not enough to put Australia on your bucket list – it’s on mine, check.
No, apparently I have to feed sharks on the Great Barrier Reef. Hmmm…did no one see Sharknado? Or that other movie, the one with the 2-note ominous soundtrack? Combined with how I feel about things underwater, this is SO not going to happen.
Hello – do you not remember Jaws????
Number 2: Climbing Kilimanjaro
I can’t just go on a safari in Tanzania (because walking with giraffes doesn’t impress some people). Instead, I have to summit Mt. Kilimanjaro. Well, I bet you didn’t know that altitude pills make you pee, did you? Well they do – a lot – which on its own isn’t a deal-breaker, nor is the lack of facilities on a mountaintop.
But when it comes to climbing anything high enough that I will require meds in the first place – well, ‘because it’s there‘ just doesn’t cut it for me. ‘Because wine‘, on the other hand – that gets my attention!
Number 3: Crossing America on a Motorcycle
First of all, I’m what’s known as a ‘trailing’ boomer, not a ‘leading boomer’ (once again, inadequate). And ‘leading boomer’ for me translates into ‘hippie boomer’, and Easy Rider was their movie, not mine. My generation’s movie was Top Gun. Unfortunately I won’t be flying jet planes anytime soon either – I have fillings and supposedly those will explode right out of my head in the cockpit.
Yes, Tom took my breath away back in ’85. Not Peter Fonda.
Number 4: Skydiving
Apparently experiencing weightlessness is on the bucket list for many people. And if skydiving out of a plane doesn’t get you high enough to feel like nothing, there’s always the ‘vomit comet’ that takes you to zero-gravity heights so you can float like a butterfly.
How’d that work out for The Bachelor, when his girl got all puke-y on board their zero G ‘Dreamliner’? Blech.
Number 5: Bungee Jumping in New Zealand
(See previous comment, and double the unlikelihood of it happening if it requires me to jump head-first.)
I must be the world’s more boring-est grownup, because none of these adventures are going to make it onto any list of mine unless you count the ‘Top 5 Things Jane Would Only Be Caught Dead Doing’ list. Don’t get me wrong, these kind of dreams may be fine for other folks, but my plans are a little more down-to-earth:
I just want to see as much of the planet as I can, not die conquering it.
Jane Canapini is a member of the Travel Media Association of Canada and the North American Travel Journalists Association. She established GrownupTravels.com in 2014 to share information and tips based on personal experience so her readers could get the most out of their travels.
Love it! I so feel the same! Boring I may have become but the bucket list (if there ever was one!) is more genteel these days.
I think anyone who travels is automatically ‘unboring’, Jo!
Well, I believe you covered everything on my OMG, Kill Me 1st List! Thanks for reassuring me that we don’t top the most boring travelers list either. My reasons of "because it’s high"…"because it’s cold"…because it’s scares the crap out of me"…"because it’s fast and spins and turns"… are all safe now that you’ve dared to broach the subject of why so and so isn’t on my list either!
LOL! When did travel become a blood sport anyways? I’ll take my travel nice and comfy with a latte on the side!
We don’t have a bucket list and if we did, it would definitely not a "conquer the earth" bucket list.
Best line I saw recently on a billboard advertising Tilley Endurables clothing said: "My bucket list is not to have one. " I think that’s the dream, to end up with no regrets and nothing left undone.
Everything on my Bucket List is vague–just getting to a particular country or city. I’ll be happy just to touch my toes to the ground in Africa. That’s #1 right now.
Africa is definitely a must-see! I think we all dream about going on a safari – I know I started to after reading Born Free!
LOL! I’m right with you! Totally noping on all you listed. Additional: hiking the summit of anywhere (I’ll take the tram, please) and trying Fugu, the Japanese poison fish (there’s a reason it begins with F-U, ya?). 🙂
Love it, Betsy! Glad to know I’m not alone!
It’s interesting how our "bucket lists" change with age and experience!
Totally agree! You know those crazies that "do Rim to Rim (and sometimes Rim again)" of the Grand Canyon in one day? Never gonna happen with THIS leading boomer. I’d take four or five days and enjoy every moment.
This is why the Park posts warning showing 30-somethings who think they are invincible – we all know better!
So true! There are lots and lots of activities not on my bucket list as I seem to be accident prone. Want proof? Instead of going swimming with sharks I went swimming with sardines and still almost drowned.
LOL!
I am so thrilled for you, Joanne! I was thinking about you the past week or so, cause I knew you were set to write it at the end of this month! Congrats. Talk about a bucket list – going back to school to get your law degree as a grownup!!!!
So very true. None of those are on my bucket list. What is on my bucket list these days? Let’s see, law degree – check. Now what’s next – RELAX and do D–k all – double check!!!